Alfredo and I’m So Smart

"Im so smart!"

Gam was craving alfredo tonight.

“Jenny, I wanted alfredo all day. So I called down and said to Denise (the dining services manager) that I would like some of that . . . oh fiddle . . . Jenny what do you call those square flat noodles?”

“Lasagna?”

“No.”

“Ravioli?”

“No–”

“Fetuccini?”

“Yes! Fetuccini! That’s the one!! But they didn’t have any. They just had plain old spaghetti. So do you know what I did?”

“No. What?”

“I said to Denise, ‘Denise, I would like a bowl of regular old spaghetti. With alfredo sauce on the side. And then I said to myself, ‘Self, last time you had alfredo, it was awfully dry.’ So do you know what I did?”

“No, but I bet you’re going to tell me.”

“Right. I said ‘Denise, I would like a plate of regular spaghetti, with alfredo sauce, and– here is the kicker–an extra bowl of alfredo sauce on the side. I’M SO SMART!”

[Sigh.]

“And so I opened the container. And I poured the extra sauce. And I stirred it in there, real good, all mashed up together. And it was perfect. Oh, Jenny, I’m so smart.”

“Yes Gam. You sure are.”

Ninja Trait #3: Strategic Knowledge (Fight at the Sumo Bar)

A text from my sister:

“i just talked to gam she sounded good but tired and she told me a story about how she went into a sumo wrestler bar and was drunk and so was the sumo wrestler and he challenged her to an arm wrestling match and she said ok and in a second she slammed his hand down on the table completely mortified, the sumo wrestler tried to jump up and chase gam and her friends as they high tailed it out of the bar turns out the guys elbow slipped in a puddle of his own spilt beer HAHHAHAHAHA.”

I asked Gam about it later. She and her friend Linda Okazaki (karate instructor’s wife) went out one night for drinks at a particular bar where the wrestlers would hang out after matches. They were the only Americans in the place.

One completely blitzed sumo wrestler saw the wee white girls and an opportunity to show off and decided to challenge Gam to an arm wrestling match.

She knew she probably wouldn’t be able to beat him, but then again there was the opportunity to position elbows in just the right puddle of booze . . .

Tomorrow: Ninja Trait # 10, Gifted Speech