Stories

What to Remember When Your Grandma Does Karate

Gam in Japan .  The 3-Legged Cat  .  Teaching at the Dojo  .  The Japanese Spies  .  Fight at the Sumo Bar .  The Magic Refrigerator  .  Frankenstein’s Granddaughter  .  Teaching me to Tan  .  Dirty Scrabble  .  Water Walking  .  “What happened to your boobs?”  .  Brutal, Beautiful Honesty  .  I Like It On Top .  The Snow Bhudda  .  License to Smoke  .  Making Me Angry  .  Her Voicemail Message  .  The Day My Butt Got Bigger .  Kava  .  The Boob Stealer  . Hockers  .  Betty TruLear  .  Viagra  .  STD .  Crabbing  .  A Carot Ring  .  Kaylee Amazing Grace .  A Date to the Casino  .  Why Shit is Gam’s Favorite Word  .  When I Became a Christian  .  Horse Races & The Board  .  Your Boyfriends are Ugly .  If You Really Loved Jesus  .  Bulletin and Bobbysocks  .  Why We Have Corgis  .  Dirty Scrabble .   “This one’s cute, can I kiss him?” .  The Eagles  .   Interviewing Burt Reynolds .  When I Gave Pop a Heart Attack .  Favorite Phrases  .  What Pop told Gam, Before .  Dancing at Becky’s Wedding .  No More Dumb Diapers  .  The Time I Fell in the Jeti  .  Music Man  .  Do Your Boobs Hang Low?  .  New Hair, New Boyfriends .  Feeding Seagulls  .  Cousin Clifton  .  Banana Bread Eric  .  The House in Delaware  .  Duck Love  .  The Beautiful People .  Mr. Bud .  Last Wishes  .  The Nice Man at the Front Desk  .  Cussing for Jesus .  Holy Cats!  .  Hot at the Wedding .  Gotcha! .  The Time the Cat Got Out  .  No More Dumb Diapers  .  Naked On A Log  .  Clam Boat Day  .  Frogging  .  The River  .  The Beautiful People  .  Poised for Romance .  When She Fell in the Shower .  Look at those Bosooms! .   How she got my Grandpa .  Michael Savage  .  Her Very First Instant Message  .  “You should get bangs.”  .  Tootsie the Hooker  .  Woo-Hoo!  .  Thongs  .  My Half-Japanese Hopeful  .  Loretta  .  The 2 a.m. Wedding  .  Flirting with the Teenagers  .  “He Has a Cute Butt”  .  Mrs. Wilson  .  Creepy Hall Decor .   Hands  .  Holy Sheets and Pillowcases!

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