What to Remember When Your Grandma Does Karate–A List

So I made a random list of stories I want to write down and remember. I hope to tackle them over the next couple of months–so I don’t forget. How many people can say that their grandma flew planes in World War 2, interviewed Burt Reynolds or takes the time to tell you that your butt has gotten bigger since last time she saw you? Now that, my friends, is love.

——

Her trip to Japan

The 3-Legged Cat

Catholic Imposters

The Japanese Spies

Fight at the Sumo Bar

The Magic Refrigerator

The 3-Legged Cat

Frankenstein’s Grandaughter

Teaching me to Tan

Water Walking

“What happened to your boobs?”

Honesty

Snow Bhudda

Making Me Angry

Her Voicemail Message

Kava

Hockers

Gam’s Best Friend at Riddle

Viagra

Hep C

Crabbing

A Carot Ring

When I Became a Christian

Horse Races & The Board

Telling me My Boyfriends are Ugly

Speaking Her Mind

“Don’t you love Jesus?”

The Bulletin and Bobbysocks

“This one’s cute, can I kiss him?”

The Eagles

Interviewing Burt Reynolds

The time I gave Pop a heart attack

What Pop told Gam, Before

Dancing at Becky’s Wedding

No More Dumb Diapers

The Time I Fell in the Jeti

Music Man

Feeding Seagulls

Cousin Clifton

The House in Delaware

The Beautiful People

Mr. Bud

The Nice Man at the Front Desk

Cursing for Jesus

Holy Cats

The Time the Cat Got Out

The Naked Photo Of Me on a Log

Frogging

The River

Do Your Boobs Hang Low?

How Much She Hated President Bush

When She Fell in the Shower

Look at those Bosooms!

How she got my Grandpa

Michael Savage

Her First Instant Message

“You should get bangs.”

Tootsie the Hooker

Woo-Hoo!

Thongs

My Half-Japanese Hopeful

Loretta

The All-Black Wedding

Flirting with the Teenagers

“He Has a Cute Butt.”

“Mrs. Wilson”

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